how to overcome fear – Our Two Step Start

Travel fears are real, especially if you are younger. Just because you are older and more travel-wise it doesn’t mean that the fears are gone at all. The travel fears are super real and can be apparent even for the most experienced travelers. Anywhere you go will offer new challenges and create new fears. But the real question is, how do you overcome those fears?

A lot of fears from travel come from the unknown and unexpected outcomes. This can be new locations, new people or new activities. But there are definitely ways to not only overcome them, but thrive during this time. It’s not simple at all but if you follow these steps then you will be well on your way to getting there.

Fear Identification

First of all you have to identify the fear. This may seem very obvious but it isn’t as straight forward as you may seem. If you are looking to book your first solo travel trip and come to a sticking point when booking – even though it’s the perfect trip, it is most likely due to fear/worry. You know you haven’t done this before, and I’m sure you have friends or family who are worried on your behalf which hasn’t helped. This seems pretty obvious what the fear is. But for other circumstances it may not be so clear.

You have to figure it out the problem before you can look to solve this problem. The solving can be mighty difficult if you don’t know what you are supposed to solve.

The fear could be an activity you have done previously and enjoyed thoroughly, or a place you love. Sometimes it’s the things you can be most comfortable with that can include or build up fears. Maybe it’s a previous experience or maybe a high expectation that you’ve set or maybe it’s slightly different? There’s many factors that can alter and develop old feeling and turn them into fear.

So the best way to identify this would be to break the idea down. Split it into parts to help see where the fear is located. If you are worried about going to a conference, then is it due to meeting new people, or having to do a speech, or maybe something simple like eating in public? There will be an isolated fear somewhere, you just may have to dig further down into the activity or place to locate it.

Gradual Exposure vs Instant Exposure

Now these two cannot work hand-in-hand but is the main two ways in which people can overcome a fear which is preventing them. They both work towards the same goal of breaking that fear and reaching that ultimate goal. But it’s done in different ways so let’s delve deeper into what they mean and how they can help.

Gradual Exposure

Gradual exposure is the art of taking things slow to reach the goal. This will be part exposure to get comfortable. An example would be if you are scared of spiders, you would start with being in the same room with one. Once this becomes comfortable, you will then get a little closer and with time, get to the point you can stand by them without sprinting out the room. This is a ‘gradual’ process that can take up to weeks or months to master. It allows your body to be at ease with whatever your fear is.

This is aimed towards more reserved people who are less impulsive and spontaneous, but still have a desired goal at hand. They are to edge closer at their pace where they can comfortably go and make progress this way as they aren’t able to move any quicker. Which leads perfectly into Instant Exposure.

If we use a bungee jump or sky dive for example, someone who looks to use gradual exposure may start of with a small ledge, then onto diving in a pool. All the way up to a cliff jump and then onto the idea, the final fear.

Once they reach this fear, they will see it as a 3 metre dive or a cliff jump. In an attempt to trick the brain and reassure that we have done something similar before. The brain is more comfortable as it’s done something that’s somewhat similar, regardless of the scale and becomes more confident

Instant Exposure

Instant exposure is the simple decision to throw themselves into it in any means. This may not be directly into the fear, but into something similar that can massage that fear and allow for an easy jump next time. An example of this is a visiting a new place. A new place is scary and way outside your comfort zone. However, booking a flight may not be, neither is getting on a plane or being in an airport.

The idea of a new place is what you focus on though. But you know it’s very similar to what you have done many times before. You may even be staying at a hotel/hostel chain you have stayed at before, just at a different location. These familiarities is growing the confidence your body has.

For the instant exposure, it’s more of ‘faking it till you make it’ and being spontaneous by dealing with the ‘fear’ later. You are to trick the brain that you can’t go back as you have booked it. Another example would be an interview. We have all been nervous and wanted to cancel an interview right before attending it. Your brain will come up with excuses or reasons why you shouldn’t go, but these aren’t real reasons but more-so any excuse not to turn up.

The actual hardest step of conquering that fear is to simply accept you are doing it. Just booking it in, whether it’s a scary sky dive or an interview. Your body will kick in and complete the fear, but booking it can be the real sticking point. So sometimes your brain works better when you just book it and deal with the fear once you are in front of it.

Examples of Travel Fear & Overcoming Them

Skydiving

Sky Diving or any sort of fear that drives from height is tough to overcome. We know people who have legitimate crippling fear of heights and it’s not fun to watch. However, if you take the gradual exposure approach, you will start with something that’s comfortable, your limit which may be a 2 metre ledge or looking down out of a 3/4 story window. As you are in control of the situation, you are likely to get comfortable and feel safe at some point which allows the opportunity to increase the levels. You are to increase it as close to the fear as possible. So, if you are comfortable with the height but don’t like the jumping aspect, you start with diving in a pool and work your way up.

You end when you feel ready to book that sky dive and feel satisfied that what you have achieved so far, is close to the overall goal.

For instant exposure, it’s the hurdle of booking it. A good way to get comfortable with the idea of booking it is speaking with people who have done it before. A positive response will lower the fear a little, and make you one step closer to booking that skydive. When it comes to the sky dive, you will recite what you have learned from either of the types of exposure and use that to fuel the almighty jump. Remember, there will be many reasons flowing through your brain on why you shouldn’t do it. Such as what if the parachute doesn’t pull or you faint. But in reality, this is there to put you off so just focus on the end goal.

Instant exposure is the task of small steps in the process, whereas gradual is small experiences towards the process.

Solo Travel

Solo travel is probably one of the hardest to overcome for travelers, as it combines many different fears in one. It’s worrying how to meet friends, or reacting to any problems that may occur, or even visiting a new place which adds further fear. For gradual fear there are a few ways to dealing with this. You can tackle the fears individually or at a scaled level.

Individually might be visiting a new place in locally for you, with a friend or family member. You are likely to be comfortable with this and enjoy it. You then can build it up by visiting this place again but by yourself. This will allow you to be more confident in your own presence and learn to enjoy your company. The next step could be to visit somewhere close-by on your own which you haven’t been before. You can just do a small time there or just a walk to get comfortable. Maybe even stop for a coffee or a small lunch here.

You will become accustom to being in your own company and in new/different places which is imitating the feeling of what you are likely to feel when you solo travel. So you are forced to ask for help if you need or ordering food at the bar to strangers, it’s all a step in the right direction and will build up your confidence in being a solo traveller.

Instant Exposure is a simpler path but a lot harder to conquer, it’s all about mental reassurance and attempting to book the experience and ‘go with the flow’. Doing it this way can be helped by speaking to people who have experience solo travelling or even reaching out to groups online who are planning to be in the same place as you at the same time. If you meet fellow travellers, you can support each other in booking that solo trip and making that leap into the fear. After all, the booking is the hardest part. If you can create friends who are to be there when you are, it will feel like you are travelling with a friend rather than being a solo traveler meeting strangers.

Conclusion

These examples and types of exposures can be assigned to any type of fear you have when travelling. You either need to imitate a scenario and almost role play to get comfortable, allowing your body to understand the task and how to overcome it. Or rather find ways of booking the opportunity with the support of others and using your own experiences as you know booking the fear, is usually always the hardest part.

We have both experienced many travel fears in which we have overcome many. This includes solo travel, meeting new people, new experiences and so much more. It’s becoming accustom to venturing outside your comfort zone and a whole lot of f**k it moments.

So you are aware, Aimee runs off instant exposure and normally books before realising what the fears are or look to face them head on. Whereas Jack is somewhere in between depending on the scenario. You have to find what works best for you and decide on how you want to attack the fear. As no one can conquer it for you but you!

Thank you for following the blog and we hope this truly helps you overcome those long or newly developed fears with travel or even other aspects of your life. If you did find this helpful, do like the blog and subscribe for more blogs to come!

Do let us know what your travel fears are in the comments below! We may talk in another blog regarding our experiences of overcoming our own fears and how we did it so if you want to know more, let us know.

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Tag: how to overcome fear

Travel Fears and how to overcome them!